give that memory away

i have these memories that kind of stagger in and out of my life.  i don't like them because i feel like i haven't moved on from it, whatever it was.  in an effort to feel like i have moved on, i decided to give the memories back.  to the universe maybe?  i go on walks and that's typically when i am thinking a lot and so i often give them to trees i pass by.  take a moment to really talk it all out of my head so the tree fully hears me and can keep it and i don't have to think about it anymore.  it's not mine!

i've been wanting to listen to azure ray lately, and forgot about how music holds memories really well.  or, maybe i just stop listening to certain music so i don't have to think about the feeling anymore.  then when i go back to it years later, it's not quite so bad.  i can remember that over-emotional state that i was in.  all dramatic emotions that i often laugh about now.  how did that person stir up so much from me?  and talk about some staying power!  i just gave away the memories maybe a month ago or so and that was after at least 5 years of scratches on the back from memory.  or that memory.  or this one.  OH, TUMULTUOUS LOVE!

chris and i have such a low-key relationship that it's hard for me to understand that i was even like that.  well, chris and i have had some dramatic points, but the guy is always wrong when the girl is 1] drunk - go figs. 2] preggo from hell...  and you really can't blame a her for those.  not drunk and pregnant - two separate occasions, by the way.

our anniversary passed by and we didn't do anything.  not even a mention of it.  we both forgot.  it doesn't matter.  i spend less time documenting and remembering dates and more time focusing on what is happening now.  making new memories.